Just a tiny blog today. I really dont have much to blog about. Im supposed to be working on my manuscript anyhow.
So I went to do community service yesterday. I went to this lady's house, and she had like forty dogs. I dont want to make her sound ecclectic or crazy or anything. She seemed like a normal person...just doing what she loved. Or maybe, what she was qualified to do.
Either way, alot of the dogs were older, certainly not in their primes. And it made me come to think. I'm only twenty-three years old, and I can't help but feel as if the best times in life have already gone by. I'm not quite sure.
Maybe it is mostly due to my Ex. My self-esteem crashed, nose-dived really, after she left me. And I swear she did her best to make me feel horrible about myself. We both said bad things while we were fighting, but after we were done, as my self-esteem plummeted, she never went out of her way to help me feel better. I remember saying something where I thought I was becoming less intelligent, less than two months after we broke up. All she had to say was that I said it, not her. So even in the aftermath of it all, she was more concerned with how she would seem, rather than what existed between us.
I dont know. You always seem to only remember the best of yourself. And Im sure I did plenty of bad things, stupid things. But I can remember in any situation where she needed help, I tried to help her, as much as I could.
Either way, I'm better off without her. I know this, though I will admit, I think of her more than I should. I think this will continue until I find the next love of my life, and she breaks my heart too. LOL
At least I wont be as stupid with the next one as with this one.